Hi, my name is Mr. B. and I am... Actually I can't really tell you what I do. Well, I could , but then I'd probably kill you. That is if you didn't die of boredom or slip into a coma by the time I finished. It's not that it is dangerous, it's just deadly boring.
You don't believe me? Remember Sleeping beauty? Yup, she wanted to know all about it and see what happened. It's not "reading a phone book" boring but "building a tunnel with a toothpick" boring.
You don't believe me? Remember Sleeping beauty? Yup, she wanted to know all about it and see what happened. It's not "reading a phone book" boring but "building a tunnel with a toothpick" boring.
Naturally I wasn't always aware of this. It only dawned to me when people started to fall a sleep during our conversations. As far as I know narcolepsy can't really go epidemic, right? But I still wasn't completely sure. Until they started calling me late at night, saying they can't sleep and asking me to explain how my day was. Needless to say there was a lot of snoring after few minutes. Or silence. Both of which was equally disturbing.
So what could I do? Change my job? Change my friends? Get a new haircut and forget all about it? The last one seems like a fairly good option if only I had any hair left. Besides, I love my job, so the only reasonable option seemed to get new friends. I tried one of those internet pages. Needless to say it failed badly.
After few attepts to meet people, I got several obscene photos of their intimate parts and quite a few detailed explanations of their interests. Call me conservative but I don't really care about other people's purposes for growing vegetables or collecting other people's underwear.
But then I got a message from quite interesting person, supposedly a young executive working in a statistical research center. We had this long and fullfilling conversations about data analysis and quantitative method research and I started to think I've met my soulmate.
Unfortunately it proved to be a 74 year old gardener who lived with 14 cats and was looking for long lost twin brother. Finally, when I started to recieve loads of offers to enlarge my penis, adopt weird animals and meet christian singles in my area, I gave up. Apparently internet is no place for people like me.
So I did the only logical thing I could think of - I bought a goldfish and named her Data. She is a good listener and never complains. There is only this one thing that worries me. I think she is addicted to swimming. I guess you can't have it all, can you?
So what could I do? Change my job? Change my friends? Get a new haircut and forget all about it? The last one seems like a fairly good option if only I had any hair left. Besides, I love my job, so the only reasonable option seemed to get new friends. I tried one of those internet pages. Needless to say it failed badly.
After few attepts to meet people, I got several obscene photos of their intimate parts and quite a few detailed explanations of their interests. Call me conservative but I don't really care about other people's purposes for growing vegetables or collecting other people's underwear.
But then I got a message from quite interesting person, supposedly a young executive working in a statistical research center. We had this long and fullfilling conversations about data analysis and quantitative method research and I started to think I've met my soulmate.
Unfortunately it proved to be a 74 year old gardener who lived with 14 cats and was looking for long lost twin brother. Finally, when I started to recieve loads of offers to enlarge my penis, adopt weird animals and meet christian singles in my area, I gave up. Apparently internet is no place for people like me.
So I did the only logical thing I could think of - I bought a goldfish and named her Data. She is a good listener and never complains. There is only this one thing that worries me. I think she is addicted to swimming. I guess you can't have it all, can you?
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